Time to open up.

I am writing this looking for a specific person. Not one person in particular, but a specific kind of person.

I need to know that there are other people in the world who have seen things similar to what I have seen. I need to know I’m not crazy and abnormal. I need to know that I’m not the only one.

4.5 years ago, I watched as my sisters were murdered. I literally saw my twin sister die. Later that night my second youngest sister died as well. Both by the same killer. They were shot. I was there, I saw things no one should see but none the less, I saw them.

I am not writing to shock people or ask for sympathy. I’m writing because I’m desperate to know that I’m not the only one who has seen this type of thing. I feel so alone half the time thinking that I’m the only one. I’ve searched Google looking for people. Literally. It is so rare to even meet someone who has seen another person shot. I know it sounds so morbid; I just want to meet someone who understands. Who really gets it.

And this is why I’m publicly linking this blog to a Twitter – I really want to hear your stories, I want to share mine, and I want us all to know we aren’t alone in this aching loss.  I want to start a blog roll where we all talk about the things that we usually keep inside. I know at least for me, there are so many times I just want to SCREAM it out so everyone hears! So this is where I want to do it. If you have lost someone, ANYONE, and want to share – please leave a link to your post in the comments and I’ll post it publicly inside the post. Let’s start sharing this stuff instead of locking it away. Maybe when we speak we can find some ease for our hearts.

4 Replies to “Time to open up.”

  1. I’ve just read through your posts, and I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve gone through. Thinking about being in your position made my chest tighten. The kind of strength you exhibit is admirable.

    Have you happened upon Becki’s blog? She has one of the most extreme stories I’ve read on WordPress, although it happened to her: http://isurvivedamurderattackmyfamilydidnt.com/the-day-i-was-stabbed/

    Thank you so much for what you’ve shared here.

    1. Jen – wow, I’m honored to have you here! Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading. It means a lot to me. And thank you for sharing Becki’s blog! I hadn’t found her yet. What a story; my stomach was in knots. I’m amazed at her bravery myself.
      You are very welcome and again, thank you for stopping by!

      1. Thank you for writing such an amazing post! When people have the courage to share like that, I’m blown away.

        There are so many people who write about such deeply personal things here on WordPress, and I’m confident you’ll find what you’re looking for.

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