Return

I have another post coming soon, and this post will likely be a bit raw. But I felt the need to share it tonight.

This evening, I’ve been thinking about the words “come with me” and “return.” I hear them not only in English but in Spanish… “Conmigo. Volvere.” These words have been bouncing around in my heart since last night. I have had a rough couple of weeks with long hours at work, family reunions, and an emergency trip to see my best friend. All things I wouldn’t trade for the world, but I’m tired.

I’ve been thrown off, away from myself. Fear has rocked me like a ship on the ocean. I’ve lost myself in the maelstrom. Anxiety has been a path I’ve worn well. So last night I went for a hike in the woods to one of my favorite spots. It was time to re-center or drown.

I heard that whisper. “Come with me. Conmigo.”

It brought me to tears. I am hearing it everywhere right now. There’s a line from Lord of the Rings:

“Lasto beth nin, tola dan nan galad” – Listen to my voice, come back to the light.

Come back to the light.

Return.

It just now struck me that I call my writing page “Resilient Audacity.” Resilience is bouncing back…

To me, resilience is RETURN.

To return to the core, the essence of myself that has always been there. The light that shines at the center of myself.

“Conmigo” is from a Neruda poem –

“Oh tú, la que yo amo,
pequeña, grano rojo
de trigo,
será dura la lucha,
la vida será dura,
pero vendrás conmigo.”

“Oh you, the one I love
little one, red grain
of wheat
the struggle will be hard
life will be hard
but you will come with me.”

This hearkens back as well to my favorite spoken word of all time that I posted about here a couple months ago: Andrea Gibson’s The Nutrionist.

I heard another poem by her recently and it said,

“You don’t have to leave to arrive.”

The Universe so softly, lovingly, wonderfully whispers to me: to come with, to return to the light. The one that’s been there waiting for me all along.