The Best Steak I Ever Had

(Source) It was Vail, Colorado, somewhere around 1999-2001. The setting: a Swiss themed hotel with all German/Swiss/Austrian staff. 5 Star Restaurant. I was 10, 11, 12 years old. The years blended together along with the stories my dad told. Fantastic tales of money (1.7 Billion Dollars to be exact) that God would bestow upon my …

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Legacy

We're not up for that. The countless times I heard that phrase as a child. It started with disinterest. It became a lack of time. It became a lack of motivation. It became a lack of energy. It was too hard to interact with the world, to interact with life, to interact with others. So …

This is Real

It is so frustrating when I am in the middle of making dinner and realize I need another pan, but I take one look at what I'd have to do to get one, and I completely shut down. I decide not to wilt the kale and sear the garlic. I decide to just go with …

Stay Here With Me

There is a spoken word poem by Andrea Gibson that is my love poem to myself. It's called The Madness Vase/The Nutrionist. I heard it in person last week when she was here for a sold-out show in Colorado Springs. (By the way, talk about an awesome experience - attending a SOLD OUT Spoken Word …

Anniversary Roulette

Once upon a time, I was married. When I mention this in real life, people often gape at me in shock. "How old are you?" they ask, disbelieving, quickly followed by, "How young were you when you got married?" Some could say my entire marriage was a gamble, which makes this story particularly ironic. If …

Late Have I Loved You – 100th post

(My twin sister loved this painting.) I miss my twin. I've missed her like hot, searing fire lately... right down to the bone. My skin melting off, charred ash... and the bones still ache, and the ash still smokes from the ground, sending up aching like incense to the sky. These times come without warning, …

The Patron Saint of Lost Causes (The Day My Sisters Died, Part 3)

If you are just joining in, I invite you to read Part 1 and Part 2, here and here. ------- (St. Jude - The Patron Saint of Desperate Cases and Lost Causes) "If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling. You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared. I am the patron saint …

The Unwinding Cable Car (Or – The Day My Sisters Died, Part 1)

I have told this story over and over, sometimes to an audience of one, and sometimes to the audience of the world. Although if you asked, I couldn't tell you what words I stumbled over in the Good Morning America interview only 2 weeks after my sisters died. I remember I was wearing a yellow …

The Joseph story, like you’ve never heard it before.

Once upon a time, the story of Joseph nearly ruled my life. You know, the biblical story of the dude who had 11 brothers who betrayed him and sold him into slavery in Egypt. I was Joseph. Sold into slavery in Egypt. Joseph got to Egypt and was bought buy a guy named Potiphar (sweet …

Reconciling

Many of us seem to have some strain when it comes to relating to our families. The strain can be especially poignant around the holidays, where interacting with family is expected; if not from our families themselves, then from other well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) friends. This was certainly true for me this year. Going …