The Best Steak I Ever Had

(Source) It was Vail, Colorado, somewhere around 1999-2001. The setting: a Swiss themed hotel with all German/Swiss/Austrian staff. 5 Star Restaurant. I was 10, 11, 12 years old. The years blended together along with the stories my dad told. Fantastic tales of money (1.7 Billion Dollars to be exact) that God would bestow upon my …

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Legacy

We're not up for that. The countless times I heard that phrase as a child. It started with disinterest. It became a lack of time. It became a lack of motivation. It became a lack of energy. It was too hard to interact with the world, to interact with life, to interact with others. So …

Love Without Fear

This post has been inspired by a month or more of thought and reading. It was then that I read a little book that changed my entire view of love. To me, love has always been marked by strict walls. This belongs, this doesn't. Love is a game and it has very specific rules, and …

This is Real

It is so frustrating when I am in the middle of making dinner and realize I need another pan, but I take one look at what I'd have to do to get one, and I completely shut down. I decide not to wilt the kale and sear the garlic. I decide to just go with …

Attachment Theory and Following My Bliss

For the past month or so, I've been in a book club with a group of girls working through The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte. The book is massively inspiring. It's turned me much more towards inner goals than outer ones, even though I still struggle with that as a goal oriented person. I went through …

Stay Here With Me

There is a spoken word poem by Andrea Gibson that is my love poem to myself. It's called The Madness Vase/The Nutrionist. I heard it in person last week when she was here for a sold-out show in Colorado Springs. (By the way, talk about an awesome experience - attending a SOLD OUT Spoken Word …

Okay. I overdid it.

I wrote awhile back on how full my life was. I've had some friends caution me in the past 2 weeks about taking care of myself. I even thought I was fine, just doing life. Well. I was wrong. (Surprise!) I got to this weekend and I have been totally wiped out. Not a little, …

My Life is Full – Learning to Prioritize

It's been in the last couple of months I finally started getting what people with a lot of time in 12-step meant by saying, "My life got really full." Recently, my life has gotten very full. Back a couple of years ago when I started recovery, I couldn't tell you what I truly loved. I …

This is Where I Say I’ve Had Enough

"This is where I say I've had enough and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now. A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises and I don't believe that I'm getting any better, any better." -Dashboard Confessional, Saints and Sailors You know it's bad when I'm quoting Dashboard Confessional in …

Resentment and Addiction

"Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else." AA Big Book, page 64. On my palms are two broken blisters, one unbroken. They are still raw with the storm that the howling wind blew through me last night, leaving me shaking and exhausted in its wake. Adrenaline roaring up through …