The ways in which we approach our fear has got to change. It is so very very easy to approach fear with the mindset of wiping it off the face of the map, whether it be with drone strikes or with pointing a gun at innocent teenagers. It's so very very easy for me to approach fear with self-policing, obsessive thinking, and trying to eradicate it from my mind. Do they seem disconnected to you? They are very related. Outer change never comes without inner change, first.
Practice
It's been awhile since I wrote. Some of this is due to the places my mind has wandered lately, down dark and lonely roads. But some of this is also due to being out of practice. My honesty has felt terrifying even to me, so I stopped practicing writing it out publicly and went underground. …
I’m Still Here
It's been awhile since I've written. Most of what I've written lately has been sporadic pennings on a journal page, or in my poetry notebook. I've zipped myself shut for the silliest of reasons, but one I could not avoid. A monster in my closet with a double-fisted threat that steals all my breath and …
Constellations
“It seems we struggle for a lifetime to become whole. Few of us ever do ... Most of us end up going out the same way we came in -- kicking and screaming. Most of us don't have the strength -- or the conviction. Most of us don't want to face our fears.” ― Darren Aronofsky; …
Love Without Fear
This post has been inspired by a month or more of thought and reading. It was then that I read a little book that changed my entire view of love. To me, love has always been marked by strict walls. This belongs, this doesn't. Love is a game and it has very specific rules, and …
The Patron Saint of Lost Causes (The Day My Sisters Died, Part 3)
If you are just joining in, I invite you to read Part 1 and Part 2, here and here. ------- (St. Jude - The Patron Saint of Desperate Cases and Lost Causes) "If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling. You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared. I am the patron saint …
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Alexithymia (The Day My Sisters Died – Part 2)
Trigger Warning: I know several people are reading who have also been through a similar experience to mine. In light of this, please know that some of this post may be disturbing to you. Please monitor yourself if you wish to keep reading and don't read more than will unnecessarily disturb you. I am going …
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STOP – In the naaaaaame of looooove…
So, last week was pretty much hellfire and brimstone aimed at my dwelling. Wish I could say I did the celebrity walkout with explosions in the background... (Source) But I didn't. Got nicely caught in the crossfire happening in my own brain. I'm still dealing with aftermath and all the beautiful particles and things. I …
dancing with the unknown
Sometimes I curl up in the dark night, wrap myself up with my own arms, and whisper lonesome-ly... "What do you want, baby girl?" I stare into the darkness and wish it could stare back. In the way that the roots stare at the dirt, willing the nutrients to budge from those grains up into …
Dear Self
Dear Laurie, Last night, I was not very nice to you. Your soul ached and groaned and begged for relief. I am uncertain sometimes still. I really feel inadequate to give you what you need. I had no idea what you needed last night. You were on the edge of the abyss and I just …